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istainion Day: 15, Time of day: Evening
Location: Yesterhill
Note: x
(Remarks marked by *are written in abyssal, remarks marked by - are written in celestial, the rest of the entry is written in common)
After the healing powers divided itself among all of us, Shevat began to meditate, grieving for the recently deceased ones. With a brief prayer, I considered myself ready to move on. We aren't yet on safe grounds to bother connecting with what gives us a moment of calmth, we need to move on, press on. I noticed that Yshvara reached for her magical bag to take out a notebook to write something. I sighed at the looks of it, but I didn't wish to interrupt her way of grieving either, she, too, seemed to know these people. Torvial began to build something from the dirt and stones, almost like a primitive grave, a sign of remembrance to mark the location of the event. I let the aasimar man know that I wanted to have a chat with him in the near future. When it reached him, he turned to me and returned a nod.
. . .
The heavens began to darken again, nightfall is soon to come. We had to press on, and that, we did. With the rain still running down our drenched clothes, washing the clothes from excessive blood, we made way to a clearing on our way back to the vineyard. Shevat with Yshvara's assistance, had found a place of shelter made by previous travelers who had passed there for the night. It was difficult to reach the spot with all the fog that had gathered in our surrounding from the continuous rainfall.
Location: Road between Yesterhill and the Vineyard
Note: x
The previous travelers established a type of roof by the use of branches and leaves, but it was slim, intended for three to four people at most, while we are at the number of six. It was cramped in there, sharing this spot of limited rain. We had the fire going to help us dry our clothes and to warm up. With the night to come and the common exhaustion we shared from the previous battles, many of us are urged to rest for the night.
I recalled sitting there, with my knees close to my body, looking over to the rest hiding from the rain under the low quality roof. Realizing just how much I miss having an actual roof over my head and sleeping in a decent bed over the night and eating more than just nuts and dried fruits over the span of our travel. "Isn't it nice and cozy out here? Squeezed tightly together under this third grade roof ...", I had complained. Pyre turned to me, sighing while sitting in a similar position to reduce the space intake. "You're so high maintenance, it causes me physical pain." She sighed audibly. "I take pride in that, thank you.", I returned to her with a smile.
Shevat and the others were occupied with strengthening the roof above us, reducing the leak from the rain. While in the distance, we could hear the sounds of thunder, adding a challenge to our night rest. Now, things can't get any better, can it? Yshvara's performance did make it a little bit better, that much was true, it added an artistic tone to the rumbling in the back.
After winning a staring competition against Pyre, we divided the watch order. The first watch is covered by me and Shevat, the second watch will be done by Torvial and Pyre, the last watch will be done by Yshvara and Arabella.
. . .
As the others managed to get their eyes closed and fell asleep almost instantly from the exhaustion, my attention was turned to our surroundings until Shevat's voice reached out to me. "How are you holding up?", he asked me. I lifted my brow and asked him what he meant. He turned his head in my direction and observed me.
"It seems you've been a bit on the edge lately." I, too, turned to him and expressed my confusion. "On the edge?" I wasn't sure what he referred to, as I don't recall any special occasions where I may have expressed myself stronger than usual." He nodded back at me. I requested him to be more specific about it. "It seems like you have been bothered by a lot of things lately, more than usual." I squinted my eyes for a moment to sharpen the vision I had of him, I had noticed the exhaustion getting to me and turned my head away. "More ... Than usual?" Again, he confirmed adding "Has something happened?"
At this moment, I wasn't sure what to name as we are in constant threat of losing our lives at this point, dealing with loss and misfortune from all directions. It's difficult to pinpoint the joy I am experiencing in near death situations and near drowning situations, or being forced to live life like a fish and turning into a vampiric mushroom carrier of a corpse. As much as dealing with excessive stress of the knowledge that I just killed a kid and am unsure whether or not our previous companion will find his safe return to this forsaken realm on his own without a damned hag around to lead him back. Truly, hard to choose.
I sighed with exhaustion, rolling my eyes, knowing that putting all this nonsense onto another who is dealing with, assumingly, the same pile of annoyance and still being able to behave calm and collected all this time.
"Just Pyre being annoying.", I said to him, knowing it has only recently happened. Fueling the grief over the loss of some traitors won't do any of us any good. Shevat tilted his head curiously. "Why Pyre, specifically?" I gritted my teeth, sighing audibly again. "She got us into danger, remember?" The druid stretched his back muscles a little, maintaining his gentle smile in the process. "Well, I have not met many fire genasi before, but I think they might have some sort of a temper."
I scoffed at his remark. "Because of the fire? Well, I wouldn't be surprised." Shevat straightened his back and moved into a more comfortable position. "It might be linked to that, yes." I smirked at it a little, while wrapping my arms around my knees. "In any case, everything in here is so very depressing." A pause followed, when I muttered the words "It's still better than that place ..."
"I was also a bit disappointed when Pyre made the choice of killing that druid. I think that druid would have lived a peaceful life." I turned to him again. "He wouldn't have survived. Remember what that Ellamin-guy said? He would have shot him."
"... We could have saved him." There was a sad expression on Shevat's face when he said it, almost as if he took responsibility for the man's death. Truly, I did my best to keep him from harm, simply to keep my word, but that attitude of his didn't make him sound very worthy of savior. "Who could have saved him ..." I said in return, rolling my eyes. He looked at me with determination in his eyes. "Me!" I lifted my brow. "We barely even survived the fight. How would you be able to protect that guy?"
He expressed that the situation could have gone differently if Ailoton would choose the path of peace. I let my shoulders drop, burying my face in my palms. There's no use dwelling on the past, I'd know best, it cannot be changed, the way that things have gone. Neither could I have given him and his large mental and physical age gap of a partner's life back, but knowing how positive and ambitious the man is, I refused to ruin it and stomp on it. "Yeah", I said "It could have gone differently."
Then he asked a sensitive question.
"Do you think ... Bad people deserve a second chance?"
The memories returned to me, the ever haunting memories, stories, faces, feelings and pain ... With their details so sharp in vision along with their doings, I felt my body trembling. The anger forced me to clench my fist in the action, eyes averted from the source of the voice as I turned my head away once more. "You want my honest opinion?"
"Yes."
I opened up my eyes, glancing at the wet dirt in front of me, covered by the heavy rain and cackling of thunder reaching my ears. "What do you consider bad? Because in my opinion, bad people don't deserve a single chance."
His voice became soft, it felt a little distant, as if he was caught in thought, carefully sorting his thoughts. "Some people do bad things, because of certain circumstances, that they are forced into." I felt my breathing pause, it was as if his voice became louder in my mind. "They are not bad by nature.", Shevat explained. "I don't think anybody is bad by nature." I let my head drop a little with a chuckle. "Hah, don't say that. I've met people in my life, where you'd want to doubt those words you spoke."
Merciless killers come in all forms and shapes, having not a single sense of remorse in their actions. Many are proud of their actions, with a desire to have inflicted more harm in order to become a horror to the people and a story to go down in history with. To some, this is merely a foolish game, a challenge, competition among others to experience a freedom of action, word and choice. Domineering the weak, torturing them, forcing them in submission through cruel acts. Another chance? No such thing.
I told him that I referred to criminals and when he asked me about their crimes, I returned him a vague answer, mentioning their common stories and about reading reports. Shevat was curious if they were humans, of course, it isn't limited to the human race.
Shevat paused, turning his head to the side. "It sounds like you had some really bad experiences."
I looked in his direction. No, I thought to myself, most of those experiences are second-handed. They aren't my own, mostly just the outcome in the shape of reports, communication or visual exposure. Their victims suffered the most. "You could say that ...", I said with a weak chuckle.
"I think ... Everyone deserves a second chance." Shevat decided. While I fought his ideal train of thoughts, it was good to hear someone say that after so long. "If you'd read those reports, you'd think differently ..." I muttered.
"Reports?"
I made clear that, indeed, not all are bad for making poor choices in life. Some, indeed, didn't have the luxury of choice. Those may, indeed, benefit from a second chance.
"Are they now dead? Those bad people?"
"Heh, most of them, yes."
"So some of them are kept alive?"
"Some of them got away. That's ... How it always goes."
"Well, I hope that they will cherish the second chance they are given. Not by you but by fate and not to waste it."
Fate, he names it? I call it poor judgment, but by the system, it is permitted. Being here reminds me of how free I am, again, after discussing my occupation and thoughts.
"I always thought that it is good to see the good in people.", Shevat said with a gentle sigh, leaning backwards again as he gazed up to the sky.
I returned a questioning gaze, but eventually, I nodded to myself. Once, I was in the same mindset before reality struck me. I felt the muscles on my face stretch into a smile. It was nice to believe that his sanity seemed untouched.
"But you have given me much to think about." He then said, I felt everything pause in that moment and the regret washing over me like in a bad dream. Am I now responsible for tainting his thoughts?
Gritting my teeth, I let out a soft apology. "I'm sorry." Shevat started gazing down to the ground before us. "Maybe there are people that are beyond saving." I felt my gaze drop as well, leaning against my palm. "I'm afraid so ... I'm sure that ... Not all of them are like that, but I have yet to find someone who is different from that."
"I hope you will meet a person like that who is able to change, so that you can see the good in people, like I saw."
It felt like an arrow struck my consciousness, made my hearing sharper while the rest of the surroundings became nothing but a distant blur. "Well ... I suppose there are some good people in our team.", I admitted, keeping my voice down for only the druid to hear. Shevat agreed with the statement, when he looked over his shoulders to the sleeping man and women not too far separated from us. "I feel like we could accomplish some great things together." He smiled over to them, somehow seeming convinced of their innocence.
I observed him, realizing the harsh reality. "The thing is, we don't know anything about them." Just like how he doesn't know the details about me and I don't know the details about him. What brought us together to this place? None of us will know. Shevat was right when he said that they can be trusted, for they haven't betrayed us nor deceived us. No, we have fought battles together and helped each other, and are still cooperating, even now through all our hardships. Their loyalty to us, or rather, their will to solve and survive this place, it's a mutual agreement.
I did mention their previous companions, however, they have betrayed them, but when I mentioned them, the druid fought the statement. He is convinced that the boy was misguided by love. Yeah, I did say so as well when we walked past the beach after our loss. It's reassuring how he changed his thoughts about it, at least, from how it seemed to me. So, the boy is forgiven for his actions.
"I wish we could save the kid though.", I let the other man know, who sat on the other side of the campfire. "But we can't save dust ...", I added, sighing at the crackling of the fire. "No, but Naedithas and Ailoton their souls are not under any control, I believe, but they are still locked into this place." Shevat suddenly said, making me wonder how he even knew this. What connection does he have to this land?
I let out a nervous chuckle, when I felt the anger fill me again over the fact that, still, they aren't free. "Hah, I wouldn't be surprised by this God forsaken realm." The druid agreed, the place is very strange, indeed. "There is something deeply wrong with it."
It's not often that we agree, but this time, we agreed with many things.
"But", the druid concluded, "we can make a difference, we've been granted great power and great allies that we can use to heal this land."
With the orbs now complete, we can indeed make a change to the state that this realm is in and return hope to the people by weakening the power the count has over the land and its elements with it. Shevat agreed with the plan, indeed.
Location: Yesterhill
Note: x
(Remarks marked by *
After the healing powers divided itself among all of us, Shevat began to meditate, grieving for the recently deceased ones. With a brief prayer, I considered myself ready to move on. We aren't yet on safe grounds to bother connecting with what gives us a moment of calmth, we need to move on, press on. I noticed that Yshvara reached for her magical bag to take out a notebook to write something. I sighed at the looks of it, but I didn't wish to interrupt her way of grieving either, she, too, seemed to know these people. Torvial began to build something from the dirt and stones, almost like a primitive grave, a sign of remembrance to mark the location of the event. I let the aasimar man know that I wanted to have a chat with him in the near future. When it reached him, he turned to me and returned a nod.
. . .
The heavens began to darken again, nightfall is soon to come. We had to press on, and that, we did. With the rain still running down our drenched clothes, washing the clothes from excessive blood, we made way to a clearing on our way back to the vineyard. Shevat with Yshvara's assistance, had found a place of shelter made by previous travelers who had passed there for the night. It was difficult to reach the spot with all the fog that had gathered in our surrounding from the continuous rainfall.
Location: Road between Yesterhill and the Vineyard
Note: x
The previous travelers established a type of roof by the use of branches and leaves, but it was slim, intended for three to four people at most, while we are at the number of six. It was cramped in there, sharing this spot of limited rain. We had the fire going to help us dry our clothes and to warm up. With the night to come and the common exhaustion we shared from the previous battles, many of us are urged to rest for the night.
I recalled sitting there, with my knees close to my body, looking over to the rest hiding from the rain under the low quality roof. Realizing just how much I miss having an actual roof over my head and sleeping in a decent bed over the night and eating more than just nuts and dried fruits over the span of our travel. "Isn't it nice and cozy out here? Squeezed tightly together under this third grade roof ...", I had complained. Pyre turned to me, sighing while sitting in a similar position to reduce the space intake. "You're so high maintenance, it causes me physical pain." She sighed audibly. "I take pride in that, thank you.", I returned to her with a smile.
Shevat and the others were occupied with strengthening the roof above us, reducing the leak from the rain. While in the distance, we could hear the sounds of thunder, adding a challenge to our night rest. Now, things can't get any better, can it? Yshvara's performance did make it a little bit better, that much was true, it added an artistic tone to the rumbling in the back.
After winning a staring competition against Pyre, we divided the watch order. The first watch is covered by me and Shevat, the second watch will be done by Torvial and Pyre, the last watch will be done by Yshvara and Arabella.
. . .
As the others managed to get their eyes closed and fell asleep almost instantly from the exhaustion, my attention was turned to our surroundings until Shevat's voice reached out to me. "How are you holding up?", he asked me. I lifted my brow and asked him what he meant. He turned his head in my direction and observed me.
"It seems you've been a bit on the edge lately." I, too, turned to him and expressed my confusion. "On the edge?" I wasn't sure what he referred to, as I don't recall any special occasions where I may have expressed myself stronger than usual." He nodded back at me. I requested him to be more specific about it. "It seems like you have been bothered by a lot of things lately, more than usual." I squinted my eyes for a moment to sharpen the vision I had of him, I had noticed the exhaustion getting to me and turned my head away. "More ... Than usual?" Again, he confirmed adding "Has something happened?"
At this moment, I wasn't sure what to name as we are in constant threat of losing our lives at this point, dealing with loss and misfortune from all directions. It's difficult to pinpoint the joy I am experiencing in near death situations and near drowning situations, or being forced to live life like a fish and turning into a vampiric mushroom carrier of a corpse. As much as dealing with excessive stress of the knowledge that I just killed a kid and am unsure whether or not our previous companion will find his safe return to this forsaken realm on his own without a damned hag around to lead him back. Truly, hard to choose.
I sighed with exhaustion, rolling my eyes, knowing that putting all this nonsense onto another who is dealing with, assumingly, the same pile of annoyance and still being able to behave calm and collected all this time.
"Just Pyre being annoying.", I said to him, knowing it has only recently happened. Fueling the grief over the loss of some traitors won't do any of us any good. Shevat tilted his head curiously. "Why Pyre, specifically?" I gritted my teeth, sighing audibly again. "She got us into danger, remember?" The druid stretched his back muscles a little, maintaining his gentle smile in the process. "Well, I have not met many fire genasi before, but I think they might have some sort of a temper."
I scoffed at his remark. "Because of the fire? Well, I wouldn't be surprised." Shevat straightened his back and moved into a more comfortable position. "It might be linked to that, yes." I smirked at it a little, while wrapping my arms around my knees. "In any case, everything in here is so very depressing." A pause followed, when I muttered the words "It's still better than that place ..."
"I was also a bit disappointed when Pyre made the choice of killing that druid. I think that druid would have lived a peaceful life." I turned to him again. "He wouldn't have survived. Remember what that Ellamin-guy said? He would have shot him."
"... We could have saved him." There was a sad expression on Shevat's face when he said it, almost as if he took responsibility for the man's death. Truly, I did my best to keep him from harm, simply to keep my word, but that attitude of his didn't make him sound very worthy of savior. "Who could have saved him ..." I said in return, rolling my eyes. He looked at me with determination in his eyes. "Me!" I lifted my brow. "We barely even survived the fight. How would you be able to protect that guy?"
He expressed that the situation could have gone differently if Ailoton would choose the path of peace. I let my shoulders drop, burying my face in my palms. There's no use dwelling on the past, I'd know best, it cannot be changed, the way that things have gone. Neither could I have given him and his large mental and physical age gap of a partner's life back, but knowing how positive and ambitious the man is, I refused to ruin it and stomp on it. "Yeah", I said "It could have gone differently."
Then he asked a sensitive question.
"Do you think ... Bad people deserve a second chance?"
The memories returned to me, the ever haunting memories, stories, faces, feelings and pain ... With their details so sharp in vision along with their doings, I felt my body trembling. The anger forced me to clench my fist in the action, eyes averted from the source of the voice as I turned my head away once more. "You want my honest opinion?"
"Yes."
I opened up my eyes, glancing at the wet dirt in front of me, covered by the heavy rain and cackling of thunder reaching my ears. "What do you consider bad? Because in my opinion, bad people don't deserve a single chance."
His voice became soft, it felt a little distant, as if he was caught in thought, carefully sorting his thoughts. "Some people do bad things, because of certain circumstances, that they are forced into." I felt my breathing pause, it was as if his voice became louder in my mind. "They are not bad by nature.", Shevat explained. "I don't think anybody is bad by nature." I let my head drop a little with a chuckle. "Hah, don't say that. I've met people in my life, where you'd want to doubt those words you spoke."
Merciless killers come in all forms and shapes, having not a single sense of remorse in their actions. Many are proud of their actions, with a desire to have inflicted more harm in order to become a horror to the people and a story to go down in history with. To some, this is merely a foolish game, a challenge, competition among others to experience a freedom of action, word and choice. Domineering the weak, torturing them, forcing them in submission through cruel acts. Another chance? No such thing.
"What people were they?" Shevat asked with curiosity. I gave a rough description, wishing not to drop too much info, but it became clear that, the longer we spoke, he already saw through me.
I told him that I referred to criminals and when he asked me about their crimes, I returned him a vague answer, mentioning their common stories and about reading reports. Shevat was curious if they were humans, of course, it isn't limited to the human race.
Shevat paused, turning his head to the side. "It sounds like you had some really bad experiences."
I looked in his direction. No, I thought to myself, most of those experiences are second-handed. They aren't my own, mostly just the outcome in the shape of reports, communication or visual exposure. Their victims suffered the most. "You could say that ...", I said with a weak chuckle.
"I think ... Everyone deserves a second chance." Shevat decided. While I fought his ideal train of thoughts, it was good to hear someone say that after so long. "If you'd read those reports, you'd think differently ..." I muttered.
"Reports?"
I made clear that, indeed, not all are bad for making poor choices in life. Some, indeed, didn't have the luxury of choice. Those may, indeed, benefit from a second chance.
"Are they now dead? Those bad people?"
"Heh, most of them, yes."
"So some of them are kept alive?"
"Some of them got away. That's ... How it always goes."
"Well, I hope that they will cherish the second chance they are given. Not by you but by fate and not to waste it."
Fate, he names it? I call it poor judgment, but by the system, it is permitted. Being here reminds me of how free I am, again, after discussing my occupation and thoughts.
"I always thought that it is good to see the good in people.", Shevat said with a gentle sigh, leaning backwards again as he gazed up to the sky.
I returned a questioning gaze, but eventually, I nodded to myself. Once, I was in the same mindset before reality struck me. I felt the muscles on my face stretch into a smile. It was nice to believe that his sanity seemed untouched.
"But you have given me much to think about." He then said, I felt everything pause in that moment and the regret washing over me like in a bad dream. Am I now responsible for tainting his thoughts?
Gritting my teeth, I let out a soft apology. "I'm sorry." Shevat started gazing down to the ground before us. "Maybe there are people that are beyond saving." I felt my gaze drop as well, leaning against my palm. "I'm afraid so ... I'm sure that ... Not all of them are like that, but I have yet to find someone who is different from that."
"I hope you will meet a person like that who is able to change, so that you can see the good in people, like I saw."
It felt like an arrow struck my consciousness, made my hearing sharper while the rest of the surroundings became nothing but a distant blur. "Well ... I suppose there are some good people in our team.", I admitted, keeping my voice down for only the druid to hear. Shevat agreed with the statement, when he looked over his shoulders to the sleeping man and women not too far separated from us. "I feel like we could accomplish some great things together." He smiled over to them, somehow seeming convinced of their innocence.
I observed him, realizing the harsh reality. "The thing is, we don't know anything about them." Just like how he doesn't know the details about me and I don't know the details about him. What brought us together to this place? None of us will know. Shevat was right when he said that they can be trusted, for they haven't betrayed us nor deceived us. No, we have fought battles together and helped each other, and are still cooperating, even now through all our hardships. Their loyalty to us, or rather, their will to solve and survive this place, it's a mutual agreement.
I did mention their previous companions, however, they have betrayed them, but when I mentioned them, the druid fought the statement. He is convinced that the boy was misguided by love. Yeah, I did say so as well when we walked past the beach after our loss. It's reassuring how he changed his thoughts about it, at least, from how it seemed to me. So, the boy is forgiven for his actions.
"I wish we could save the kid though.", I let the other man know, who sat on the other side of the campfire. "But we can't save dust ...", I added, sighing at the crackling of the fire. "No, but Naedithas and Ailoton their souls are not under any control, I believe, but they are still locked into this place." Shevat suddenly said, making me wonder how he even knew this. What connection does he have to this land?
I let out a nervous chuckle, when I felt the anger fill me again over the fact that, still, they aren't free. "Hah, I wouldn't be surprised by this God forsaken realm." The druid agreed, the place is very strange, indeed. "There is something deeply wrong with it."
It's not often that we agree, but this time, we agreed with many things.
"But", the druid concluded, "we can make a difference, we've been granted great power and great allies that we can use to heal this land."
With the orbs now complete, we can indeed make a change to the state that this realm is in and return hope to the people by weakening the power the count has over the land and its elements with it. Shevat agreed with the plan, indeed.
